Mr. Rogers Gone Insane

Every year during the All-Star voting, the writers criticize the fans and the managers for making the wrong picks. Most of the time, the writers are right. Phil Rogers made his picks yesterday, proving scientifically he is a dumbass. I like Mr. Rogers and the work he does for ESPN.com and the Chicago Tribune. But my God Phil, you really didn't bother doing any research, did you?

First, some ground rules:
32 players per team. 19 position players, 2 per non-pitching position, plus three at discretion.
13 pitchers, 5 starters, 4 closers, 2 middle men, plus one at discretion.
Numbers are most important.
Numbers are not end-all-be-all. Subjective factors shall include, in descending importance:
1. team performance
2. player value to team
3. defense
4. player marketability (Jeter should be an All-Star every year)
5. track record
6. and special circumstance (Bay must play in PNC Park this year)

For position players:
1. league leader in BA gets in regardless
2. league leader in HRs gets in regardless
3. league leader in runs gets in regardless
4. league leader in RBIs gets in regardless
5. league leader in OPS gets in regardless
6. must hit at least .250

AL Catchers.
Rogers: Mauer, Hernandez, Pudge, Posada
Mauer's in as the leader in BA. There's a guy named Victor Martinez who has eclipses Pudge in runs, HRs, RBI, OBP, and SLG. Pudge is on a division leader, but not enough. Martinez gets in over Hernandez because of marketability and past performance.
Starter: Mauer
Reserve: Martinez
Candidates: Hernandez, Posada

NL Catchers.
Rogers: Estrada, LoDuca, Barrett
This is an incredibly weak class. Estrada has the best numbers. LoDuca plays on a winner, but Barrett hits cleanup for the Cubs and the Mets would still be in first without LoDuca.
Starter: Estrada
Reserve: Barrett
Candidates: None

AL First Basemen.
Rogers: Konerko, Jiambi, Overbay, Broussard
Jiambi is the league leader in OPS and Konerko is on pace for 40/110. Give the tiebreaker to the defending champs. Overbay is a good player, but he's the 5th best hitter on his on team. Broussard? Are you kidding? He platoons! Youkilis finishes a distant third. Mourneau is getting hot in June.
Starter: Konerko
Reserve: Jiambi
Candidates: Youkilis, Morneau

NL First Basemen.
Rogers: Pujols, Howard, Berkman, Nomar
No arguments here. The only question is who's caddying for Pujols. Howard definitely has more mass appeal. We'll find deserving Lance a spot later. Nomar probably needs to be added later if he winds up with enough ABs to lead the league in hitting. Delgado only gets on the list if he can keep his average about .250.
Starter: Pujols
Reserve: Howard
Candidates: Berkman, Nomar

AL Second Basemen.Rogers: Lopez, Iguchi, Cano
Another terrible group. Lopez gets the nod since he's among league leaders in RBIs. Iguchi and Cano are toss ups. Let's go with Cano. He plays in New York and he's more important offensively to his team, whereas Iguchi's backup (Ozuna) is actually batting .400. Throw in Grudzgfagnakn because we might need a Royal. Starter: Lopez
Reserve: Cano
Candidates: Iguchi, Grudzzbcnalkjnga

NL Second Basemen.
Rogers: Utley, Philips, Uggla
Philips is the NL's version of Shelton and has done nothing since April. Where is Weeks? He cant play a lick of defense but he has a .390+ OBP from the leadoff spot, is in the top five in runs scored, and has 14 steals. Uggla is having a very good year, but he's a total unknown. All-Star and Uggla don't really belong in the same sentence right now.
Starter: Utley
Reserve: Weeks
Candidates: Uggla

AL Third Basemen.
Rogers: ARod, Crede, Chavez, Lowell, WiggintonWhat are you smoking Phil? Crede is reverting to his old self. Chavez is solid as usual. Lowell has had a mini-renaissance (About to crash any minute now. Trust me. Just watch him play). Wigginton? Are you kidding me? And he missed the guy who's leading the position in runs, homers, and RBIs! Troy Glaus! How can you suggest Overbay and omit Glaus? As #1 would say, that's ludacrisp.
Starter: Glaus
Reserve: ARod
Candidates: Chavez

NL Third Basemen.
Rogers: Wright, Cabrera, Rolen, Ensberg, Bill Hall, Sanchez
All these guys are having a great years, but they cant all make the team. Sanchez goes first. His numbers aren't there and he fails subjective factors 1-5. Hall goes next. Dear Phil, he's played more games at SS than 3B. Don't be silly. Of the remaining four, Cabrera is most important to his team, Rolen has the best track record, and Wright is the most marketable and plays on the best team in the NL. There goes Ensberg. We'll try to find room for Rolen and Ensberg in the remaining slots if their numbers match up.
Starter: Wright
Reserve: Cabrera
Candidates: Rolen, Ensberg

AL Shortstops.
Rogers: Tejada, Jeter, Young, Guillen
Pretty obvious choices, although Young is having only a decent year. Move Guillen ahead of him. Cabrera belongs in the conversation as well.
Starter: Tejada
Reserve: Jeter
Candidates: Guillen, Cabrera

NL Shortstops.
Rogers: Renteria, Greene, Reyes, Hanley
Renteria has an OPS near .900, blowing away the competition. Khalil Greene is a joke. Mr. Rogers did not bother checking that he's batting below .220. And where is Felipe Lopez?
Starter: Renteria
Reserve: Lopez
Candidates: Hanley, Reyes

AL Corner Outfielders.
Rogers: Dye, Mags, Rios, Swisher, Vlad, Ibanez
He actually leaves out the two guys that should be automatic, although he does mention Manny. In case you haven't noticed, Ichiro is doing as well as he did two years ago. Rios has been incredible, Swisher has been solid, but they're going to have to get squeezed. Ibanez? Ibanez? I mean, who the hell is Raul Ibanez?
Starters: Manny, Ichiro
Reserves: Dye, Rios, Vlad, Magglio
Candidates: Swisher

NL Corner Outfielders.
Rogers: Bay, Soriano, Lee, Abreu, Holliday, Burrell
Bay needs to start in Pittsburgh. He's the entire offesne for the Buccos. Soriano has a chance at 40/40. Lee is in a free agency year frenzy. Abreu and Burrell have really been nothing special and they're both lousy defensive players, but no other outfielders are putting up great numbers. Holliday's numbers should be taken at close to face value as the Coors effect has worn off in the last year and a half.
Starters: Bay, Soriano
Reserves: Lee, Holliday, Abreu, Burrell
Candidates: Drew

AL Centerfielders.
Rogers: WellsVernon was the only centerfielder Rogers lists among outfielders. Not sure how you the number of Mrs. Sizemore shirts you see at Jacobs Field. After all, women are always right.
Starter: Wells
Reserve: Sizemore
Candidates: Damon

NL Centerfielders.
Rogers: Andruw, Beltran
No arguments, though I would switch the order.
Starter: BeltranReserve: Andruw
Candidates: Brady Clark. Ok, that was just to make sure you were awake.

AL Final Three: Thome, Pronk, Papi. This is obvious. There are no other candidates.

NL Final Three: Berkman, Nomar, Rolen. The other candidates were Reyes, Hanley, Ensberg. Berkman gets in over Ensberg because of his importance on the Astros. The Dodgers are leading the NL West and deserve at least one position player. The Mets don't need Reyes, they've already got two starters. Hanley and Rolen are close, but Rolen gets the call since the Cards are in first.

Pitchers tomorrow.